Parenthood can pose significant challenges, especially for single gay men. Shaun Resnik, a hypnotherapist from Victoria, Australia, had always dreamed of becoming a father. He came out as gay when he was 24 and started looking for the perfect partner to start a family in his thirties. However, discussing parenthood on the first date scared off many potential partners.
When he turned 40, Shaun decided to pursue his dream of becoming a single father and began searching for surrogates. Fortunately, Shaun succeeded in his quest to start a family, and he now has a beautiful baby boy named Eli, a loving partner named Sean, and two dogs.
Meet Shaun Resnik, a 44-year-old gay man from Australia who has always dreamed of becoming a father
It took over a decade of planning for Shaun to make history as the first single Victorian man who was granted permission to become a parent via surrogacy
“I was just going through my phone tonight and I came across messages from 11 years ago, where I was asking other gay dads how they had managed to become dads through surrogacy.
I can’t believe that the whole process of starting to research to become a dad was over a decade long. I always knew that I would become a father, but I don’t think I realized just how hard and complicated doing surrogacy would be. There were lots of hurdles and I never gave up, although I definitely felt disheartened and almost defeated at points. Now when I hold my gorgeous 19-month-old son in my arms, I am so grateful that I persevered,” shared Shaun.
The surrogacy journey for Shaun was long and difficult. There were three potential surrogates that came along but for various personal reasons couldn’t proceed
Luckily, Shaun didn’t give up as he succeeded in finding a surrogate named Carla, who over the process became a close friend, and an egg donor from his already friend, Bree
It takes a special person to carry someone else’s child. Therefore, we asked Shaun to tell us more about the surrogate and how he found her. “I met Carla, my surrogate, when I began going to surrogacy catch-ups in Melbourne. I originally joined an online FB group where people who want to become parents get in touch with potential surrogates. In Australia, it is completely altruistic, which means that the surrogate and egg donor do not get paid to have your child. You pay for all pregnancy-related costs and medical appointments and help your pregnant surrogate by doing their grocery shopping when they are too tired to do it, or babysitting their kids if they need a night out and forming a relationship with their family. It’s a really nice way to have a baby because you create a friendship first and the surrogate learns to like and trust you before helping you to become a parent.
At the time I was single and I had no idea I was the first single Victorian male in Australia to have a baby via local surrogacy. It meant that my case was a landmark case and it ended up inspiring a lot of other single men and women to go on the journey to become parents.
I have since found a loving partner and we are raising our son together- it has worked out really well,” wrote Shaun.
Shaun’s efforts finally paid off when in October 2021, they found out that Carla was pregnant
When the baby boy was born, Shaun named him Eli, in honor of his own dad
Even though Shaun started the surrogacy process while single, along the way came his now-partner Sean, and they raise Eli together
Now the couple are facing the joys of fatherhood and are planning on expanding their family once again
Image credits: shaunresnik